Re: Mail from Canadian Dancesport Federation.

22 lipca 2008 19:18

Response to WAY OFFTOPIC  Post :

@ everyone

Allow me to respond to  Barry since he thought it appropriate  to go public with a private grievance.

This is a hard felt response, and will be longer than usual. 

The reason being that I am  indeed guilty of  corresponding with Polkadancer for several years, respecting  Polkadancer for knowledge of  dancesport,  and  for making  a white lie to  comfort her , and to reassure her of a wide acceptance in  our forum at the time she felt unappreciated and was  reported  dying.

@ Barry:    

Wipe off your tears.    You are correct  when admitting sending  private e-mails to me. Not happy , and   not nice e-mails,  in fact , outright nasty and insulting e-mails  which I always responded respectfully, considering  you were a real Polkadancer's friend,   and a  person of some integrity and in need of closure.

It was you who had informed me,  and probably other regular posters, that Polkadancer had just a few short weeks to live in January 2008 ....it was you who asked me to edit my  posts where I had previously mentioned  "God" and "Light at the end of the tunnel", written at the time I had no idea Polkadancer was  terminally ill.  I complied.  It was you  who offered to act  as a messenger of my best wishes, and to  pass my bestt regards  onto dying Polkadancer when he/ she was allegedly  on her death bed. It was you who informed me of Polkadancers death and requested I do not mention her  name in my posts any more.

 I complied.   

 Peculiar. No one else knew the details about Polkadancer as you  Barry,  who she had talked to,  what  she thought,  what she and I had corresponded  months earlier in  privacy. When questioned   you explained  Polkadancer felt compelled to  consult  with you about everything and even acted on your recommendations.    It was Think of me,   who  tried to comfort Polkadancer out of  sympathy during her ,  what I believed,  were her  last days.

YOU  informed me,  that Polkadancer   was bothered and   upset with some  forum contributors, thinking that they misunderstood her,  even hated her,  that she was disliked  etc.   Using you,  as a trusted  messenger,  I sent Polkadancer   a very private message ,    assuring her ,  that she was in fact very much liked, admired, and respected by all and  I thanked her on behalf of everyone for the nice times and all the contributions,    and told her  it was I who had teased her, all along,   and that  the people who she thought hated her etc.  were just all made up names of the same person , and that she should think of it as of  a   6 headed  dragon,  which was created to  allow  Polkadancer to slay  one head one after another, and that Polkadancer was just too much of a challenge for a single Think of me.

 Barry, I never asked you,  and it was  you who assured me, on your own initiative,  to keep our conversation exchange private and confidential ,  saying   “your  secret  is  safe with me”.  You informed me my message   amused  Polkadancer who concluded  with a  smile , "all this time and it was the same person ? "

I admit to you  Barry,  if  you and Polkadancer are one,  you indeed  are far too astute  and  far  better  in this,    but  lacking  decency.

Never in my wildest fantasies  would  I imagine  YOU would be    bringing Polkadancer  name back to life.   Something you accuse me of .  It was not I who brought back Polkadancer .   It was you who criticizes me for  gently directing   Daniel2 to his private mail box for explanation.   No I am not Daniel. Nor Kat 213.  Sambatogo made a public clarification a   day later even identifying Polkadancerts, allegedly,  real name.  Something she never wanted.     I was upset  when you disrespected name Polkadancer by bringing her  back to life.  When I saw that she wrote a new message on 21 July 2008 .  At  first , I was pleasantly surprised she was still alive, and ready to resume,  later  realizing what happened and I say :   SHAME ON YOU, Barry.

  In the private mail I hinted to you   I would not consider it a gamesmanship if someone would  go so low as to make himself die, and then come back as another. There are rules to every game,  and I am ready to  drop  the  game when rules are ignored.  In fact  I wish I was the loser. That would mean no death, just a continued game played by a person with no character, integrity, self-worth.

 Whether, or, not  I  have another  nick name(s)  on the forum  is none of your business, and even if true,  I  am sure I  would not  be  alone.  I have repeated several times to you and to others  not to worry about names,  to  concentrate and discuss the topic,  the message.  It is no  secret that many contributors left  and came back to the forum under different names.   Some  come back acting in a more civilized manner  ( my opinion).

I  gave you a message  which was intended  for a  dying  person, to comfort her,  to entertain her, to cheer her up during her last days in this World,  I made up a white lie - a story for Polkadancer,  NOT a story  FOR  YOU  Barry.    It had  absolutely nothing to do with you,  unless you are   Polkadancer.

You have no business to bother me with unkind private message .  You have  no business to judge me and  my motives.     There is a time and place for white lies in our society, especially when it comforts and  hurts no one.    My white lie was a was a story made  for  Polkadancer's benefit, a terminally ill  friend's  benefit,  a friend who no longer could write,   and you,  Barry promised to convey the message,  and indeed you convinced me that Polkadancer was somewhat amused by the message.  Believing my white lie was a fact,   you swore  on the Polkadancers death bed   "my  secret"  was  safe with you.

 You have no business to judge our friendship, unless you were the recipient of my message the   Polkadancer and  now quite justly upset it was a story which you  took seriously.    

You misused the sacred privilege and trust.  

On your own you labelled the message "secret " and  promised to keep the "secret" 

 You made many  promises  and broke every one:

First,  when you informed me of  the condition of the dying person and stated you had never been and would never become a contributor on this forum   -   Since Polkadancer stopped posting  under Polkadancer name,  you,  Barry emerged,  and  already with over  40 contributions in about 3  short months,   and all on the  Polkadancers favorite topic  : the  dance politics. Now you try suggest I provoked you to promise never to contribute here ? 

Second, when you swore " my secret was safe with you" and then released  bits and pieces of "secret" ,  first hinting  about "secret" , making statements that you were not able to give reasons publicly  instead  sent  private e-mails to posters leaking out  your "secret" to the  selected few.  

Third,  unable to stay quiet you went all out and bubbling  out your "secret" .  Just could not keep it inside  any more, could you  ?

Fourth,  dishonouring  name of Polkadancer by exposing her anonymity,  providing personal detail about her death, whereabouts,   is that what she have  would wished ?  

In the end does it matter what your secret was ?    So what  if  "secret "   is out in the open ?  

 You suggest  one contributor writes in  better English than another,  one represents  Russia,  another  USA, Canada etc.  They post, agree and disagree with each other and that supposed to be a proof they are all  Think of me ? 

Does it not remind you of other forums ?  Are you suggesting that 25  different posters, who joined the forum at different times during the past  3 years have somehow conspired against you Barry, the same person who would had never thought of joining  the forum  in March  o8 ?  Why does it bother you  if “A”  think ‘Y’  while “B” differs with ‘X ”  and they discuss  it  on the forum one in better English that another. Has it hurt anyone ? What business is it of yours,  unless  you are you looking  to make  a lasting friendship,  or looking for a date .  Try the Craig list.  I am sorry if Polkdancer passed away.  It does not change the fact  she was a prolific poster often  blocking   the  forum  with  her beliefs.  The  forum which provided for her the audience,  spectators, some admirers, and many frustrated IDSF followers .  Not for a moment do I believe a word you Barry say when telling us you are  leaving us for ever.  Barry and Polkadancer broke their promises just too many times. 

I am sure you will  emerge under some other name.  Try the Big Bad Wolf  which I suggested earlier.

 Meanwhile,  I ask all contributors whom I am not ,  please forgive me for causing you to be  suspected of being me, thanks Daniel2 for your response,  now you know the whole story.

 Please "think of me"  less,   if you wish,   me for  making a white lie to comfort , whom I believed was,  a  dying passionate dance contributor, a friend.

Internet is a funny media,  we never know who we correspond with.  However,  Internet and Forums give opportunity to express what would be difficult to express under our real names,  to discuss freely without  fear of being exposed, prosecuted by a government, organisation, a boss.

Nick Barry is  free to go,  come back, do whatever he/she  wishes .  Polkadancer had his own reason for not posting under his own name.  It is  Barry  who publicly  exposed Polkadancer  telling us  she passed away somewhere in Czech Beskidi  Mouintains. It is  Barry   who gave  Polkadancer's secrets away, stripping her of anonymity,  something she always protected. 

Are you telling the truth this time  when waving your good byes  ?  Or,  are you  still in the game of a far too  astute  player ?   You write as a smart person,  unfortunately you  cannot maintain confidentiality, cannot keep  secrets,  cannot maintain others anonymity,  have no respect for yourself, calling yourself childish ,   have not even respect  for the allegedly  a dear friend  by updating  and using her posts to suit your own agenda ?

Wipe off your  tears.   How can anyone  trust you ,  how can anyone  believe you  ?   Live and let live. It  matters not if you say or go,  if you do go in  peace. Just do not make any more excuses, remember  it was you who had no intentions of ever being here.